Saturday 24 May 2008

Dead End

When I started this blog I thought it would be a good idea to share about my experiences as a repat, what it is like to make the transition back to my own country after living abroad. I didn't realise just how difficult that transition would be. Not only did simply make a change from one country to another, but we were moving from a stable situation where we were doing fairly well and lookinging forward to start exploring the country we had been living in for 2 years, into a totally unstable, scary, crippling, disfunctional, dark and distorted situation which we would feel the impact of for many months to come. I thought it would be great to share about my experiences, but they were so out of the ordinary and so depressing. I thought it would be a great release, but it turned out that I was so crippled with fear and saddness that even the simplest of activities took more effort than I could muster up. I could not even find the motivation to enjoy any of my numerous hobbies.

So that is why this blog never really took off. That and, I'm really not a writer and I can never put things in just such a way to really describe my feelings or a situation in the right way.

So I will lay this blog to rest, for the random few of you who check in every so often to see if there is anything new. For you and for those who stumble across this blog looking for the experiences of an expat or a repat, I would like to refer you to my friend at Potential and Expectations. Though her situation is a bit different (married to a British husband, has two wee girls, lived in England, and lived abroad much longer than me), I can truely relate to much of what she says. The fears, struggles, and worries, the suprise and the differences, homesickness, learning new systems or trying to remember what was tucked away for so long. And she says it so eloquently.

So with this, I will take my leave of this blog.

3 comments:

ErinOrtlund said...

Thanks for the blog, Deliverance! I did enjoy the posts you wrote. You're so right--being a repat isn't just moving countries. It's all tied up with job change and finances and family! It's not like you moved from Scotland right back to the situation you had in Chicago. I'm sorry to hear it's been so difficult of a transition--hopefully this year will bring better things!

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