Beannachd Leibh

Dead End

2008-05-24T04:20:00.000-07:00

When I started this blog I thought it would be a good idea to share about my experiences as a repat, what it is like to make the transition back to my own country after living abroad. I didn't realise just how difficult that transition would be. Not only did simply make a change from one country to another, but we were moving from a stable situation where we were doing fairly well and lookinging forward to start exploring the country we had been living in for 2 years, into a totally unstable, scary, crippling, disfunctional, dark and distorted situation which we would feel the impact of for many months to come. I thought it would be great to share about my experiences, but they were so out of the ordinary and so depressing. I thought it would be a great release, but it turned out that I was so crippled with fear and saddness that even the simplest of activities took more effort than I could muster up. I could not even find the motivation to enjoy any of my numerous hobbies.

So that is why this blog never really took off. That and, I'm really not a writer and I can never put things in just such a way to really describe my feelings or a situation in the right way.

So I will lay this blog to rest, for the random few of you who check in every so often to see if there is anything new. For you and for those who stumble across this blog looking for the experiences of an expat or a repat, I would like to refer you to my friend at Potential and Expectations. Though her situation is a bit different (married to a British husband, has two wee girls, lived in England, and lived abroad much longer than me), I can truely relate to much of what she says. The fears, struggles, and worries, the suprise and the differences, homesickness, learning new systems or trying to remember what was tucked away for so long. And she says it so eloquently.

So with this, I will take my leave of this blog.

Why most Americans don't travel outside the US

2008-03-03T15:11:00.001-08:00

Josh started a new job 5 weeks ago. After one year of employment he will get one (1) week of holiday. After 3 years of employment he will get two weeks of holiday. After 10 years, three weeks. Whoop-dee-doo. He does not even get any personal days. He has to find someone to cover his shift if he needs a day off. Even then they ask if he can be on call.

Six-Month Slump

2008-02-12T09:27:00.000-08:00

For the last few weeks I have REALLY been missing Scotland. I think of it every day and when I see pictures I sigh. I was wondering if it was the weather. It has been a very dreek winter, just like Scotland, only MUCH colder. Last week we had a thick haar, only not haar because it didn't roll in off the sea. :)

Last week I was thinking about 'the six-month slump' that most expats get. When relocating to another country, as stressful as it is, it is still very exciting. A new place, a new culture, new food, new styles, new accent (or language). Everything is new and for a while it is fun. But I think they say that at about six months it is not as much fun anymore and expats start to miss home, or just something FAMILIAR.

I hit it really hard at about 4 months, naturally because that was Christmas. I was just tired of constantly having to learn new, basic things, like 'can I get tinned pumpkin anywhere in this country!?' Work was overworking me, we didn't have many friends and the friends we did have were away for the holidays, family was far away, our Christmas decorations were sparse, the sun (when it decided to show it's face) was only up for about 5 hours a day (and it still sat very low in the south). It was a depressing time.

So when I was thinking of all this last week, it hit me that we have now been back in the States for six months. I wondered if many repats felt this. Of course I missed Scotland when we first moved over (even before we moved!) and our situation was a tough one, but I began to realise that we were back here permanently. I didn't think of Scotland daily.

Now I have to remind myself of the things I didn't like while we were there: the taxes, high cost of living, my work, dreek winters (hmmm), our small fridge and miniature kitchen ;).

Of course there are good things about being back here. I don't want it to sound like I am unhappy. This is all just part of the experience.

missing it dearly...

2008-02-06T18:25:00.000-08:00

Universal Health Care

2007-12-19T12:23:00.000-08:00

A friend of mind made a thoughtful post. Please visit her blog to read it if you were not already directed there from my other blog.

I will always say that one of the things I really miss from the UK is the universal health care. It sounds like one of the biggest, baddest words you can say to so many Americans, so I have to be careful whom I say this to or it can start a big political discussion, which is not what I want. I would ask you to really think about this, though. Many people who are against it really seem closed minded to me.

Health care has been a great concern for us after moving back to the States. We have no money to buy insurance. We are currently uninsured. It affects the decisions we make. I may have to take a job I am not thrilled about because they offer a benefits package. Josh may not be able to take a job he could be happy with because they offer no benefits. What if I got pregnant? What if Josh had an accident while working on the car? It's winter...what if we get really sick?

That is all I will say about it now. After living in 2 countries one gets a taste of the good and the bad of both. This is the one thing that left me sick to my stomach when thinking of moving back here.

Thanksgiving

2007-12-05T15:03:00.000-08:00

I heard snide comments from time to time about how American's cheat with the holidays by having Thanksgiving (so close to Christmas), but most people were just curious and enjoyed hearing about what we do.

As Americans we really appreciate and treasure Thanksgiving because it is the one holiday that has not been so commercialized. It is a time to relax (unless you are in the kitchen everyday for the week previous!) and enjoy the time with family. As Christians we think about our abundant blessings and how we have been provided for throughout the year(s).

This year we were in a position to have my family over for the holiday. Those of you who know me know that I LOVE to cook and entertain, so I was very excited to be able to have my family over. Unfortunately I didn't get any pictures of my family or the food, but I did get a picture of the centerpiece. I was very proud of Josh for going out into our backyard and putting this together:

The picture does not even do it justice. It looks very fallsie.

the table

Our first snowfall!

Snow in the backyard.

The sweet potato casserole was so popular this was all that was left the next day (and I don't even like it).

It was fun to have Stevie stay the night and the next day the Carter's came over and helped us eat up the leftovers (and left their car for us!!).

Language

2007-11-20T15:42:00.000-08:00

I still feel funny saying:

cell phone rather than mobile
pants rather than trousers
vacuum (cleaner) rather than hoover
garbage rather than rubbish
garbage can rather than bin
canned rather than tinned
restroom rather than toilet or loo
line rather than queue
ad-ver-TIZE-ment rather than ad-VERT-is-ment or advert

Yet somehow in my conversations, I THINK the British word or pronunciation but SAY it in American. There are some awkward moments, though when I will ask someone where the toilet is, or if I can use their toilet. It does sound a bit crude to the American ear. :)

A little evening shopping

2007-11-17T09:33:00.000-08:00

It still feels a little strange that I can plan to go shopping after dinner...after 7pm for that matter! and expect the shops to be open! :)

Date Day

2007-11-14T12:27:00.000-08:00

No, Americans are not required to own guns, nor do ALL Americans even own guns.

You will find that in the large cities it might be illegal to even carry a gun (though there is such a high crime rate in the cities involving guns). When you get to the more rural parts you will be more likely to find a gun in many households. They may be there for either hunting or for the protection of the family. Some call it a virtue to have a gun, or even a SIN if the head of the family does not own a gun (because he is not protecting his family).

One thing Josh was looking forward to was shooting. Simply shooting his gun at a target (he does want to go hunting, too). He asked that we could do this for one of our date days. Ok, I gave in.

It turned out to be a lovely day when we went to the property of a family friend. Josh did most of the shooting.

Because my arms are too whimpy I had to use a monopod. My arms still got tired!

My target.

I think Josh got it out of his system.

Creamer

2007-11-14T11:34:00.000-08:00

I missed flavoured coffee creamer while in Scotland, but only for the first several months. After working at Starbucks a while I scoffed at flavouring my coffee and didn't think I would ever really find the need for it.

The last time I was grocery shopping (now that I have my VERY OWN fridge that I can fill up all by myself!!) I came across these creamers. I stood there thinking, wondering if I should get some. I was planning to just get some heavy cream because that is what I used in Scotland, but the prices drove me over to the creamer/half and half section. My eyes fell on a limited edition flavour called pumpkin pie spice. Being nearly Thanksgiving and being deprived of all things pumpkin while in Scotland, I couldn't resist.

I made my coffee strong(er than normal) and added extra creamer. Yum! Ok, I wont scoff any more. :)

You might be a repat* if...

2007-11-03T18:15:00.000-07:00

when crossing the road, you look right, start to step out, then feel hands pulling you back to the curb because a car is coming from the other direction.

people look at you funny when you call the vacuum 'hoover', the trash container 'rubbish bin', the trunk 'boot', and the shopping cart 'trolley'.

you get annoyed that they don't serve tea and coffee after church.

you put cream on your pudding/dessert.

you have to explain to people that they do speak english in Scotland.

you say things like 'wee' 'gobsmacked' 'aye' and 'fab'

you nearly keel over when looking at the cost of owning a mobile/cell phone.

you are overwhelmed with joy to have a closet.

coworkers think you are odd because you bring a birthday cake to work for your "own" birthday.

your hairdresser looks at you strange when you ask her to trim your fringe.

eating a delicious breakfast at a restaurant is an exciting and wonderful experience.

you are suprised that there is enough food leftover to take home from the restaurant.

you freak out that the guy driving the car isnt holding on to the wheel and is eating... only to realize he isnt the driver.

you are convinced the world needs more roundabouts!!!!! Keep the traffic flowing people.

you walk into a store to ask for something and sit there completely stumped as to what they call it there as you can only remember the British word for it. You end up gesturing and drawing a picture until they finally guess it and you say "Yes! That's what I meant."

You are asked if you are from England.

you enjoy doing laundry again.

you get to rediscover one stop shopping.

you find tinned pumpkin at the grocery store and hoard it.

you look up the grocery stores online to see how much delivery is.

the cashier is annoyed with you because you are staring into your change purse trying to figure out how to make 70 cents in change.

you keep reaching for a quarter in your change purse thinking it is a 2p coin.

you are tired of constantly explaining to the cashier that you have your own bags...then they just stand there and stare at you in amazement while you pack your own bags.

Thank you to my friend at americanexpats.co.uk who helped me come up with some of these. ;)

*a repat is someone who has returned to their 'home' country after living in another country. Someone who has repatriated.

The Library

2007-10-29T13:51:00.001-07:00

I can get lost at the library. We have one just down the road. Very easy to walk to. I have enjoyed it quite often. I spent some time there today. I brought the laptop because they have free wi-fi. It's a great thing! I sat in front of this huge window they have in the front. There is a wee bit of property with trees before you see the highway. It was a gorgeous sunny day and the leaves are changing colour!

We have lived in larger cities for the past 10 years, so I do miss the selections at those libraries. But what I really miss from Edinburgh is the 3 week check out. It is just 2 weeks here! If I get a book I have a hard time getting into it takes me about 2 weeks just to start reading it regularly. Then I have to go renew it. The things I don't miss though are being charged to check out a video (is there a charge for CDs as well?) and the late charge for books. I can't remember what it was in Edinburgh, but I know it was more than the 4 cents per day I have to pay here.

It's worth MORE?!

2007-09-29T06:50:00.000-07:00

We went to the bank yesterday (FOR THE THIRD TIME!!) to try to deposit our international cheques. They kept telling us they couldn't do it, but the lady in charge of foreign currency for all of our banks in the nation said that they could. And that she was tired of them saying they couldn't.

So we went back yesterday equipped with all the right words to say to tell them that they CAN do this.

After about 20 minutes of 3 people looking over the cheques, getting on the phone, looking at the computer, one lady came over and said, "Is this a pound sign?" When Josh confirmed she said, "Oh, that's what she said but I thought it was a euro sign."

After about 10 more minutes another lady came back behind the counter and said, "Ok, all of these are MORE so here is the amount of each check..." She seemed astonished that £35 converted to $70 and expected us to be so happy and greatful that we were getting more dollars than pounds. It was cute. But then she told us we wont see the money for 6-8 weeks...

Nobody likes to make any aspect of an international move easy.

Church picnic

2007-09-11T18:01:00.000-07:00

The dessert table!

Sunshine on Leith!

2007-09-06T17:44:00.000-07:00

I am really liking how my pictures look on the black background. I am going to have to change the format of my other blog! For now I just want to post these pictures here.

As I said on the other blog, these are from a walk I took to Leith about a week and a half before we came back to the States. We were blessed with a wee bit of summer in the weeks before we left!

City art

I always loved the view over the Forth

It's a port town.

A mural of the working class of Leith

Josh's work

Only 2 more days of work!

Labor Day

2007-09-03T14:39:00.001-07:00

We Americans need a reason to have a government holiday. It can't just be called "Bank Holiday" and just take a day off just for the heck of it like other countries do. ;)

Today is Labor Day. When I was young I thought it meant you had to labor. Maybe harder than normal? Then when I realised that businesses were closed on Labor Day I thought that maybe you had to labor in your garden (lawn) or something.

But no. Labor Day is a day we take off (except retail, of course, because they need to handle the huge sales) to go to a parade, get together with friends and family, barbecue, and take a nap. There's also the laboring in the garden bit for some.

The Lowell Labor Day parade is the largest in the state for a town under 50,000. And I will vouch for it's length. It took over 2 hours! In that hot sun! No trees!

But lots of candy!!!
I forgot to mention that they throw candy at the crowd.

The pipers came out just for us! And they even played the Scottish anthem!

More on Flickr

The Great American Highway

2007-09-02T12:57:00.000-07:00

When we first got on the highway back in the States my first thought was "YUCK!" It is just so ugly compared to what we experienced in Scotland. There are wires everywhere. There are huge billboard signs every 100 feet or so. IT IS SO FLAT! Tall grass and weeds growing along the side. Huge warehouse sized shops.

We just got back from taking a small trip to Michigan to see some of my family. My parents, Stevie, Josh, and myself. As ugly as it is in our part of the country, I do appreciate the American highway system. It makes it so much easier to get around in this vast country. The roads are wide. Not like on Mull where an A class road was hardly wide enough to fit a bus (let alone a passing vehicle!). ;) It is easy to make a stop. There are nice rest stops where one can simply pull off the road to stretch one's legs and have a picnic on the picnic tables or even barbecue on the grills provided. The rest stops are heavily shaded and provide a nice respite from the busy, smoggy, hot roads. The road system is fairly easy to navigate (MUCH easier than Ireland!!) allowing you to go great distances in a decent amount of time.

I do miss the scenery on the Scottish roads: hills, sheep, landscaped roundabouts, billboard-free, ruins. But in a country as large as this, we like efficiency.

now THAT'S ice cream!

2007-08-23T19:36:00.001-07:00

Comments

2007-08-21T20:59:00.000-07:00

I was just scrolling down my blog and noticed I had some comments! I was very thrilled. I know that I have a fair amount of viewers, but I hadn't recieved any notifications that I was getting any comments. I guess I need to play with my settings. I thought they would be the same as my other blog.

I LOVE comments! Sorry I had not replied to them. Keep them coming!

Banking

2007-08-21T20:42:00.001-07:00

We went to the bank today to deposit some cash. Before we went we had this conversation:

Josh: Do I have my bank card on me? Yes, I do. (pause) How do you deposit money here?

Me: I don't think you need your card.

Josh: I don't think I do.

Me: I think there's a form you have to fill out. You need to put your account number on it. Be sure to bring your account number.

Josh: You're right. We have to fill out that form. Where's my account number...

Just one of those things that slips your mind when you haven't done it for 2 years. It was nice that the banks in the UK just had the bank card. Banks here require you to fill out a form with how much money you are depositing, the amount on each check you are depositing, the total amount you are depositing, your account number, your name and address, and your signature. Phew!

Not Depressed, Just British

2007-08-15T19:15:00.000-07:00

Someone posted this on my forum and I had a good laugh so I wanted to share it with you all. It may seem a bit weird for anyone who has not spent time in Britain.

Not Depressed, Just British!

A new take on mental health

—By Staff, Living Lightly

January / February 2005 Issue

George Farthing, an expatriate British man living in America, was diagnosed as clinically depressed, tanked up on antidepressants, and scheduled for a controversial shock therapy when doctors realized he wasn't depressed at all, he was just British!

Farthing, a man whose characteristic pessimism and gloomy perspective were interpreted as serious clinical depression, was led on a nightmare journey through the American psychiatric system. Doctors described Farthing as suffering from pervasive negative anticipation: a belief that everything will turn out for the worst, whether it's trains arriving late, England's chances of winning any national sports events, or his own prospects of getting ahead in life. The doctors reported that the satisfaction he seemed to get from his pessimism was particularly pathological.

"They put me on everything -- lithium, Prozac, St. John's wort," Farthing says. "They even told me to sit in front of a big light for half an hour a day or I'd become suicidal. I kept telling them this was all pointless, and they said that was exactly the sort of attitude that got me here in the first place."

Dr. Isaac Horney, a psychotherapist, explored Farthing's family history and couldn't believe his ears. Farthing spoke of growing up in a gray little town where it rained every day, of treeless streets lined with identical houses, and of passionately backing a football team that never won. Although Farthing had six months of therapy, he mainly wanted to talk about the weather. "I felt he wasn't responding to therapy at all," says Horney, who recommended electroconvulsive therapy.

Farthing takes up the story: "Hopeless case? I was all strapped down on the table, and they were about to put the rubber bit in my mouth when the psychiatric nurse picked up on my accent and said, 'Oh my God, I think we're making a terrible mistake!'" Identifying Farthing as British changed the diagnosis of clinical depression to rather quaint and charming. He was immediately discharged from the hospital with a selection of brightly colored leaflets and an I Love New York T-shirt.

A satirical piece reprinted from Living Lightly (Summer 2004), a quarterly magazine that covers people and organizations creating a positive and sustainable future. Subscriptions: $17.50/yr. (4 issues) from Positive News Publishing Ltd., Bicton Enterprise Centre, Clun, Shropshire, SY78NF, UK; www.positivenews.org.uk.

Right turn on red

2007-08-15T15:09:00.000-07:00

When I took my first drive I had to quickly run through my head the rules of the road. Who has right of way at a 4-way stop? I have to remember to cross traffic when I make a left turn. Oh, I have to stop for those pedestrians rather than speed up to scare the living daylights out of them. :)

In Chicago we had to look for signs at intersections to see if we can turn right on a red (light). I haven't encountered that here yet, but it took me a bit to remember that I COULD turn right on red. Obviously, in the UK one cannot turn right on red because you would be crossing traffic. But one cannot even turn left on a red. At intersections there are 3 lights to wait for: one for each road intersecting, and one for pedestrians at all corners. There is a point where all lights turn red and pedestrians are able to cross. This allows one to cross at a diagonal (I do miss this).

I am also a bit confused about the striped crossing at some carparks and such. These would be zebra (pronounced with a short 'z') crossings, only with a black and white stripe, and this is the one place where pedestrians actually have right of way and all cars stop if there is a pedestrian in the zebra crossing. But here I am not sure if this is just to warn vehicals that there may be a pedestrian in the area, or a pedestrian can actually step out into this crossing even if a car is coming and the car will stop.

It is nice to have right of way as a pedestrian now. We walked to town the other day and as we were crossing the road with the light I felt a little nervous that the car trying to turn might run us down. I wanted to run out of the way. :)

total

2007-08-12T19:24:00.000-07:00

We purchased a meal at IKEA today that was $1.99 so I had my two singles (one dollar notes) ready. We grabbed a glass for water so we told her the cashier (girl at the till) that it was just for water. She rang it up and smiling said "$2.20." I thought she charged us for a drink, but wait, that's only 21 pence, I mean cents. I reminded her that we were just getting water. She said, "I know" and repeated the total. We were both puzzled for a bit and thought they were charging for tap water.

Then it dawned on me...TAX! We have lived in the land of VAT tax included in the price (a whopping 17.5%!!) so it was easy to know exactly what you were going to pay and have your money ready. Here the prices do not include tax. So if you are not great at maths, and if you are not sure what the tax rate is for the particular state you are visiting (I think Chicago's went up while we were away), then you have to just guess and wait for your final total.

Healthy eating...it costs!

2007-08-11T14:14:00.000-07:00

I have had a hard time finding things like quinoa, TVP (still haven't found that!), grapeseed oil, and other 'health food' type things I commonly used in Scotland. When I did find some of these things I nearly fell over at the cost! As expensive as it was to live in Edinburgh, I was very pleased that it did not cost an arm and a leg to eat healthier foods. It was not a big expense to replace couscous with quinoa. Grapeseed oil wasn't any more expensive than olive oil (and olive oil wasn't as dear as it is here).

I walked into the one an only health food store in about a 20 mile radius that I could find and walked back out in disappointment. It was expensive and the pickins were pretty slim. As Josh said, "Nearly half this store is in capsule form." :)

I still haven't been able to find any reasonably priced 'earth friendly' products like washing up liquid (dish soap), cleaning products, or detergent (except one at Meijer). And I am really sad that I can find any witchazel stuff for my face. But it was fun to find Boots products at Target!

So if anyone knows of anyplace online that I can get these things, fill me in! I was pretty spoilt with my online grocery shopping, too.

I suppose I should find it humorous that what I missed while in the UK was junkfood and now what I miss is healthfood. :)

Kreepy Krawlies

2007-08-11T08:32:00.000-07:00

I found that I am not used to the bugs anymore. I feel something moving on my skin and I have to quickly brush it away. It could just be a hair or sweat dripping down my face, but it feels like a bug to me. I did slap something away from my neck and it stung me, leaving a nice hicky looking spot. We have been spoilt by living in places without mosquitoes for many years. Mosquitoes like me and I am quite allergic. My feet and ankles are covered in bites. Here there are screens on the windows and doors. For very good reason! It would be much more than just the occasional fly that would wander into our homes if we didn't.

Take me to the fair

2007-08-11T07:58:00.000-07:00

The County Fair. It's where you go to blow your money...I mean to see farm animals, ride rides, play games, look at the results of 4H (head, heart, hands, health) competitions, and EAT FOOD. The food part has been most important in the Bougie household.

Everyone has their special thing that they want to see or do when they go to the fair. I heard one kid chanting as he went by, "posters and t-shirts, posters and t-shirts." Josh wanted to find the mozzerella sticks. I wanted to see the rabbits.

All around its good fun. Unfortunately it was so hot, as it always is fair week. It felt like it was in the upper 90s with 90 percent humidity. Not even the downpour of rain while we were there cooled it off.

Gourds

Sculptured produce

Prettiest produce

Heaviest pumpkin

FOOD!

My favourite is the elephant ears: deep fried batter covered in cinnamon sugar.

Games

Livestock

The bleeting sheep reminded me of Scotland.

Rides

Welcome to Lowell

2007-08-09T18:05:00.000-07:00

We had only been back in the States a few days when we had our first storm. We only heard thunder a couple of times the two years we were in Scotland, so this storm was a bit frightening. It reminded me that we are no longer in the land where nature is safe.

Shortly after we stepped outside to watch the storm on Sunday we heard the tornado sirens. I asked if that was just the 7 o'clock siren the town sounds everyday. Josh was staring at the sky and shook his head. We went in to turn on the radio, which was giving a local advisory, naming Lowell as one of the towns where people should take cover immediately. This was a tornado warning, meaning a funnel cloud or tornado had been spotted. This is different than a tornado watch, meaning there is simply the possibility that there could be a tornado.

The voice on the radio said the storm would be in our town in about 30 minutes. Josh, always being prepared, went downstairs to set up our hide out. He decided that we would hide under the pool table. There he placed a couple of bottles of water, torches (flashlights), our gortex rain jackets, my wellies, and his boots.

So we watched, waited, listened.

I remembered from shows about tornadoes when people said it sounded like a freight train coming through. My heart stopped at one point when the thunder was low and rumbling continuously. It could have sounded like a freight train. The strange thing was that there was hardly any wind! The sky looked ominous and we could see clouds swirling that seemed like they could form a funnel any minute.

The clouds passed and the rain subsided. We were all safe and sound. What a welcome to the Midwest!